Apartment 10-3
by Empress of Everything
Summary: Sakura thought she was saving money with her new apartment. Turns out her continued sanity isn't part of the bargain.


She could do this. She knew she could. If she didn't, she'd have to endure Ino's teasing for the next who-knew-how-long. She was Haruno Sakura and nothing scared her.

Except haunted houses. And spiders.

But that was it. Certainly she wasn't afraid of seeing her new living quarters. Which could potentially be a haunted house. Or filled with serial killers because it was _so_ cheap and in a less nice part of town and- _gah!_ She shook her head vigorously, trying to banish the negative thoughts once and for all. She could do this. She tried to ignore the tightening of her hands around her suitcase. She wasn't scared.

She _wasn't_.

Straightening her shoulders, Sakura marched forward, bullshitting determination in every step.

A brunette man lounged outside the door to the apartment complex, smoking and flipping through his phone. As Sakura approached cautiously, he glanced up. Noting her appearance in a quick once-over, one eyebrow raising at the sight of her hair, he crushed his cigarette underfoot and pushed himself off the wall to stride toward her.

"Haruno-san?" He hazarded. Sakura nodded slowly, giving him her own look over. If she were one to judge by appearances, she'd venture a guess that he had once been a rocker or something of that ilk in a past life. His black band tank top, ratty jeans, multiple piercings and tattoos, and undercut all certainly pointed in that direction. He didn't look like the sort of man who owned and rented out apartments.

Still, she knew better than to judge by appearances.

The building itself was neat and tidy while still showing its age in graffitied walls and boarded up basement windows. Weeds managed to poke their green heads through the cracks in the pavement, the odd dandelion waving in the mess. Under a spray-painted poem, ivy had begun to grow up the wall. Cracked and crumbling cement stairs with warped iron railings led to a deep blue door.

He cracked a slight smile and inclined his head toward said door and said, "I'm Mustang, the owner of this building. If you'll just follow me."

As they went further up the inside stairs, her suitcase banging the backs of her legs all the way up, Sakura was forced to duck to avoid rows upon rows of drying laundry strung hither and thither across the hall. She winced as a pair of man's boxers ( _bright orange with green frogs wearing straw hats and bowties_ ) nearly brushed her face. Mustang glanced back in time to see her evasive maneuvers.

A low chuckle brought her attention back to him and she sighed slightly. He paused on the stairs to nod toward the unmentionables. "Unfortunately, this unit doesn't come with a dryer. It… _died_ a few years back and we've never bothered to replace it. That won't be a problem, will it?" An eyebrow raised with subtle menace and Sakura hurried to reassure him that no, it wouldn't be a problem. Mustang smiled ( _though it didn't seem very friendly_ ) and continued up the stairs. "Good. We had a girl a few months ago who drew the line at no dryer. She didn't want to go to the laundromat and flat out refused to hang her clothes to dry, something about not wanting strange men poking about in her underwear."

Call her crazy, but Sakura thought that was a pretty decent reason to not move into the apartments.

"I don't see why it was such a big deal, she probably didn't even have nice underwear."

Out of the blue, a hefty clipboard came crashing down on Mustang's head. He reeled and clutched at the site, while turning to glare a stoic woman in blue. "Dammit, Hawkeye, that hurt!" He hissed. One hand gingerly probed at the spot.

"Here's the paperwork you requested, sir. I would suggest you stop making such sexist comments toward a new renter. It does not endear you to the opposite sex, as much as you might think it does." The woman's face didn't shift an inch as she spoke. She looked over Mustang's shoulder. "I apologize, Haruno-san. Mustang wasn't taught manners until just a few years ago and he's still learning to converse properly with women. I hope you'll forgive him." Though her face remained deadpan, brown eyes twinkled, ever so slightly, at Sakura. Slowly, an answering smile spread across her face.

She _liked_ this woman.

" _Thank you_ , Hawkeye," Mustang griped, accepting the clipboard and keys offered to him. "I can take it from here."

"Of course, sir." Without a sound, the woman vanished. Sakura clutched her suitcase a little tighter, though if it was in fear or awe of Hawkeye, she didn't know.

"Now, here's the keys, all the paperwork you'll have to sign, and your new home, apartment 10-3."

A series of thumps, thuds, and crashes, followed by screams and curses, emanated from the door Mustang was indicating.

"Oh, did I mention that you'll be sharing this apartment unit?"

* * *

 **A/N:** _I will admit, this story is going to be a little wild. I know nothing about Naruto aside from what I've learned from tumblr, reading fanfiction, and Wikipedia because I had to google what the hell all the Naruto things were. So yeah. Makes sense my first Naruto story would be a) a crossover, b) a fem!Ed crossover, and c) a Sakura centric story. Because we write what we know, and these are the things that are familiar to me. Please enjoy, loves._


End file.
